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Choice More than Chance Determines Our Circumstance
By Jim Clemmer
"What's the world's greatest lie?" the boy asked, completely
surprised. "It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose
control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by
fate. That's the world's greatest lie." — Paulo Coelho, The
Alchemist
The day was a winter wonderland as our family drove through the
country to a Christmas open house at a friend's home. A fresh snowfall
had left the trees, houses, and barns covered with a inch of magical white
powder. The day was cold, but in the brilliant sunshine the snow sparkled
across the fields and glittered as it wrapped the buildings and trees
in it's twinkling blanket. It was like driving through a Currier and Ives
painting. At the open house, I babbled on about the wonder and beauty
of our 30-minute drive through such an enchanted postcard scene. Another
guest who just arrived from a 90-minute drive shut me up when he snarled,
"Some winter wonderland! The slush and spray from the highway was
constantly smearing our windshield. It drove me nuts. I hate driving in
that crap."
Which view is reality, the slush on the windshield or the winter wonderland
beyond? They are both reality. Sometimes we'll hear people say "he's
not living in the real world" or "that's not reality."
But who's view of "reality" are we talking about? Philosophers
have argued for centuries that there is no objective reality, only perceptions.
There's my reality, your reality, and some else's reality. Most so-called
"facts" are open to interpretation and highly dependent upon
what's being read into the data. We don't see the world as it is; we see
the world as we are. Which is why George Bernard Shaw advised, "Better
keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must
see the world."
It's all about balance. I can "don't worry, be happy," whistle
a merry tune, think positive, and focus only on the bright side of life.
But if I ignore the slush on the windshield, I could end up in the ditch
crushed against one of those wonderland trees with the magical snow burying
my mangled body. Problems and "ugly realities" won't go away
by painting a happy face on them. But too often our problems overwhelm
us. We let our problems trap us deep inside our own "reality rut."
As long as we're stuck there, we can't see out of the rut to the possibilities
beyond. Given the festive season and a comfortable drive in the country,
that day I could easily see beyond the slush on the windshield to the
beauty of the winter wonderland beyond. I don't do that often enough.
It's all too easy to focus on and curse the slush on the windshield. Dwelling
on our problems rather than our possibilities comes all too naturally.
We often expect the worst and than say "see, I told you that would
happen" when it happens. Too often we choose to curse the darkness
rather than light a candle.
Excerpted from Jim's fourth bestseller, Growing
the Distance: Timeless Principles for Personal, Career, and Family
Success. View the book's unique format and content, Introduction
and Chapter One, and feedback showing why nearly 100,000 copies
are now in print at www.growingthedistance.com.
Jim's new companion book to Growing the Distance is The
Leader's Digest: Timeless Principles for Team and Organization Success.
Jim Clemmer is an internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, workshop/retreat
leader, and management team developer on leadership, change, customer
focus, culture, teams, and personal growth. His web site is www.clemmer.net.
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